Give Him Sex and He Will Never Leave....

So I was talking to my hubby about why women withhold sex. Of course I have never done that RIGHT. I have come to the conclusion that if you keep your man sexually happy and full he will in return he will make you happy and never leave. Correct me if Im wrong but when you have sex your endorphens run high and make you reall good so your happy and why would someone who is happy want to leave?

So I made myself a promiss to keep my man fun of sex and he will never want to leave. Check back with me in a year and we shall see how I feel then LOL.. cuz we all know there are times when I could totally live without it.

The Joys of Motherhood

I wonder what my children will think of me when they are my age. Honestly I hope its good but I'm betting there will be some bad too. I mean come on I have issues with my mom, well ones she doesn't know about. Like how she used to make me mop NO scrub the kitchen floor on my hands and knees ummm but she never mopped like that. And oh ya my favorite, wipe the baseboards down was part of dusting WTF. Maybe that's why I will NEVER make my kids wipe the baseboards or mop the floor like that. Oh ya and make EVERY ONES bed , so not cool. That's why I didn't sleep under my covers in college that way I didn't have to make it. And my most vivid memory of punishment, she whacked me across the face and body slash legs one time I was 12 I think. She will never admit to me any of that I'm sure but I have witnesses that will say oh ya I remember that.

So it brings me to what will my kids say about me? I yell a lot but come on saying it nicely 50 times gets on my nerves. Oh maybe I slept to much well i have no excuse for that one I love my sleep.

I just asked my 9yr old what he will remember about me and she said " that your an awesome mom" , how sweet. So in return I asked him if he will remember me being mean and he said well if stop being mean he wont remember it. Well that goes to show me that maybe I worry about it to much.

What I hope they remember is that I loved them dearly, made sure they were happy (most of the time) and that we had fun together. What will your kids say?

Where is the Calgon?

I need to be taken away. Ever have one of those days were you just want to scream and run away. I seriously think this has been the worst day ever. The kids are driving me up a wall with the fighting, whining and complaining. Seriously I don’t think Im a horrible mom for asking them to clean up their own crap and even my lovely husband complains when I ask him to clean his shit up.

So the day starts out with me waking up to of course a kid in my bed. We get up and I work for about 3 and half hours. Then all hell breaks loose. Not only did they complain fight and go crazy while Im sitting here working but they decide to rearrange their rooms and get mad when I tell them to clean it up. Come on cant I get some organization or cleanliness somewhere. I vacuum all the room and start to run the carpet cleaner (because my 3yr old has now decided after 6mo of being fully potty trained to have accidents everywhere). As I get to my room I just get pissed. See Ive let it get very dirty because Im tired of being the ONLY one who cleans. So I havent been putting HIS clothes away or picking anything up which he says he doesn’t have anywhere to put them but there is an empty dresser in there and well I guess he doesn’t know what its for. I couldn’t take it anymore and I cleaned all my stuff up which wasn’t much and only vacuumed and steam cleaned my side of the room. Then I start too look around and I notice that he has clean clothes that I have washed and folded stashed everywhere and his side of the bed is a hazard to walk on because you might get bitten by a tool. What the F***. When I met this man he was a neat freak and I learned to be one (everything has its place) but where in the hell is its place when you don’t have one for it? Okay the basement right? NOT … you cant even walk down there and he blames it all on me and my stuff. Okay well you know I just love Christmas trees so that’s definitely mine right and only mine and the clothes that fit the kids for winter ya those are mine too ooo ya and all that cleaning stuff so mine right, wait all the hunter and fishing stuff along with the empty huge tool chest and tool all over in boxes and totes are ALL definitely mine. Okay so I will quit bashing him but my question is why if you are to stay at home and take care of the kids do you have to spend an enormous amount of hours cleaning up his shit and then get to yours and the kids. Okay I said I was done bashing Im serious this time.. I just feel like every step forward I take and get a breath of fresh air I get thrown backwards ten feet in a cloud of smog.

I try so hard to keep things clean and new and well NO one helps me not even him. Then he says I’ll just go get a new one but in the mean time complain about money. Wouldn’t it make sense to keep things in good condition and you wouldn’t have to waste money on another? Why cant we have anything nice … why?

Ya know I didn’t vacuum for 3 days and the dog hair was discusting ( I vacuum daily) and he tells me well its because you haven’t vacuumed…. NICE hu… well why don’t you do it or at least go brush the dogs…. Nope he tells me take them to the groomer. Why do I have to lug 4 kids and two dogs to the groomer all the time why cant he do it on Saturday? Oo ya and don’t forget the complaint about the money it will take to take them.

I seriously feel so alone sometimes when it comes to running this house and doing what your suppose to do to get it all done. I am tired of taking care of all and EVERYTHING just because he works. Is that an excuse or legitimate gripe?

Raising Kids or shall I say BOYS...

While I feel bad and judge my own child rearing, I still think if I don’t they will not learn to make the right decisions or be “good” people when they grow up. So my loveing son has been grounded for two weeks now and working on another if he doesn’t do what he is suppose to do. How hard is it to pick up your socks and put them in the dirty clothes? For him I think it is torture. Ex. I asked him Sunday to put his dirty sockes from the living room up and were does he take them …. Yep to his room and stashed them in the corner. WHY O WHY I ask him and did you not put them down the shoot? I don’t know he says… well now Im mad yet again and now he is crying because he has to clean out all the dirty and clean socks I found in his room. Why do they do that? Seriously why cant he just put them up in the first place? If you don’t you just get in trouble and punished. If a 5 year old knows that hey you don’t clean your room correctly and shove it under the bed Im going to get in big trouble and I don’t what that. So why cant a 9yr old do the same. In fact he does the opposite. Its going to be a long summer I tell ya he is going to be in trouble for ever if he just doesn’t get it and do it . For goodness sakes I have a note on the door that says what daily chores are expected and what that means ie. What cleaning your room means : get trash out, dirty clothes down the shoot, nothing on the floor, bed made, dresser clean, nothing under beds or dressers and clean clothes pu away(everything hung up ect.) is that not clear. And the only reason I wrote it is so I didn’t have to repeat myself every time I say clean your room he can just read it for himself.

Am I too hard on him? I feel maybe I am and maybe Im not. He says the girls don’t get in trouble but I guess when C gets sent to the corner or cant play outside with the neighbors because she will refuse to do something, he doesn’t see that as getting in trouble. Or when E gets a spanking for waking everyone up at the crack of down and then hides because she knows not to do that, I guess that isn’t trouble either.

If this is a test to see how far I can be pushed Im about at my limit. He is about to see what crazy mean mom is. I hate how I feel, so mean and horrible but come on its not hard and you will get so much more if you just DO IT.

I just hope he grows up knowing that you can not just not do it or forget about it because its not important to you. I hope he knows Im not being mean because I want to or because I don’t like him. I hope he realizes how hard it is to do this so it is better in the end. God help me stay sane through all this and help me do the right thing because IM NOT CLEANING UP EVERYONES ROOM the house is enough for me …. Shhhhweee I feel better.

Masturbation, Pubic Hair and Periods!

So tonight was my girls night out and boy was the conversation hilarious. I never thought well I knew I'm just not ready for the time you have to start talking about sex, drugs and well the rock and roll would be easier. I don't know if I glad my oldest is a boy or terrified. I don't have a penis and well I don't know how to explain it correctly or even know were to start talking about the birds and the bees with him. The girl talks will be so much more relaxing for me because I have a vagina and well I'm comfortable talking about what I know not what I don't have. If I leave it up to hubby will he be okay with what daddy tells him or will daddy tell TO much.

Masturbation, public hair and periods was the main topic of conversation. Even though we did start out talking about Jon and Kate plus 8 the sex talks with our kids topic definitely took over. I could hardly contain myself when J told me she asked her 3 year old if he put him penis in the toothpaste cap. Holy Moly! She said he saw toothpaste on his penis the cap and tube in his hand so one could only imagine right? I would have thought the same thing but damn that was just funny. I hope she keeps that one for the memory book. J2 was talking about the new found hair her 8yr old had grown. Can this really be sneaking up on us. Honestly I am so not ready for all this hairy penis vagina stuff. Cant they just be kids forever then the next day be adults. It would be so much easier on me. I know I know having kids isnt suppose to be easy right. If only they would have delivered the manual along with them at birth.

Masturbation is okay for you........ it is good and will help you........ DO IT....

LOL so another topic was about something someone had read about telling your kids that masturbation is okay and has been shown that those who do it dont become sexually active as early. OMG bad thought so my 30 yr old family member masturbates ewww bad picture in my head. Well good for her but I think its been long enough and she could do it right. Hey I should ask granny if she talked to her about that and thats why she hasn't done it yet. Or I guess those batteries work better than the real thing eww eww eww bad picture. Great now when I see her I'm going to freaken laugh so hard or not be able to look at her in the eye. Either way she will think I'm crazy.

So all this has me thinking is there a right way and wrong way to talk to your kids about body parts, sex and getting your monthly or morning wood? Honestly I think there is a wrong way but NO ONE right way. As long as you get the information across, they understand and everyone is okay with it its all good fight? How do you know when its time... your water cant break on this one so what clues do you look for?

Mother's Day/My babys 3rd BDay

I attempted to make Dora... and its not to bad for my first time. It only took 4-5hrs of mixing colors and trying to make it perfect ...

ZUMBA....

It is as funny as it sounds honestly.... I took my big ol butt to a workout class with a friend (her idea not mine) and OMG it was fun, but my body is just not able to move like that. You shake your butt and jiggle your boobs and shimmy that way and this all the while listening to base blaring music. While the music had great rhythm I did not. I couldn't do both arms and leg moved together or I would have fallen down. It was like doing the salsa while learning new hip hop dance moves, at least that's how it felt to me. I will say it kicked my butt and made me sweat but I'm not sure my knees can handle all the bouncing.

So I was thinking about it and it did feel good to get back into a gym and working out, I could do this. But when will I have time and how long with this feeling of lets work out last? I mean come on I have four kids and they are in 4 different things right now so the weeks can get hairy. When would I have time and will I have someone to watch them at a decent hour to go. So is it worth forking out the 14.95 month?

I wish my metabolism was just fast enough to keep me 30lbs lighter.